Lake by the Atlantic Ocean

"When you’re twenty-two you’re not an expert on any-fucking-thing" - Billy Connolly

Posts tagged police

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The cop on me asked for my driver’s license, looked at it, looked at me, and said, “Tell me what happened.” I told the cop what happened, exactly as I described it above, including the personal details about why I’d been agitated and drunk, which under the circumstances probably weren’t germane.

When I finished he said, “Would you like to press charges?”

"What for?" I asked.

"Assault," he said.

"Why would I press assault charges against him?"

"Because he hit you first."

I said, “Oh, no, he didn’t hit me first. He poked me in the chest.”

"That’s assault," my cop said. "He hit you first."

"I don’t think he actually meant to touch me, though," I said, while a voice deep inside me said, Stupid white boy, he’s making it plain and you’re not getting it.

"It doesn’t matter if he meant to touch you, he hit you first," he said. He was talking to me warmly and patiently, as you might explain things to a child. Wisdom was being imparted.

"You were in fear of your life," he added.

By now the adrenaline fog seemed to be lifting. I was seeing things in a more clinical way. The violence I had inflicted on this man was disproportionate to the “assault,” and the tone of this exchange with the cop felt conspiratorial.

And then it dawned on me, Mr. Slow-on-the-Uptake, what was really happening: this officer was helping me Get My Story Straight.

Understanding, at long last.

Different rules apply | MZS | Roger Ebert

Filed under matt zoller seitz police racism white privilege

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humansofnewyork:

"I’m a traffic cop. It’s a job. Somebody’s got to do it. I don’t even represent myself when I’m working. If I was representing myself, I’d let everyone off with a warning. I represent a system. Did I design the system? No. I just enforce it. It’s not for me to decide the system. We elect the people who decide the system. When I write a ticket, everyone tells me a reason that they don’t deserve it. If I gave a warning to everyone with a reason, I wouldn’t give any tickets, and the system wouldn’t work. I don’t get any joy by giving a ticket. And I’m not upset if you beat it in court. It’s not personal. It’s my job."

humansofnewyork:

"I’m a traffic cop. It’s a job. Somebody’s got to do it. I don’t even represent myself when I’m working. If I was representing myself, I’d let everyone off with a warning. I represent a system. Did I design the system? No. I just enforce it. It’s not for me to decide the system. We elect the people who decide the system. When I write a ticket, everyone tells me a reason that they don’t deserve it. If I gave a warning to everyone with a reason, I wouldn’t give any tickets, and the system wouldn’t work. I don’t get any joy by giving a ticket. And I’m not upset if you beat it in court. It’s not personal. It’s my job."

Filed under humans of new york people photo police

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On another occasion, a guy showed up naked at the front door of a female acquaintance and shouted “I’m gonna fuck you in the ass!” He pinned her down on her bed, at which point she began kicking his balls. When he let go of her arms to try to pin her legs, she reached down and started punching his balls. Eventually she got all four limbs into the act, just wailing on his nuts until the signal reached his brain that it would be better to leave.

Finding him was fairly easy; he was the guy who had walked back to his hotel room wearing only a cowboy hat and briefs. After all he did, we still offered to let him put on pants before being hauled off to jail. His response? “Fuck pants.”

5 Things I Learned as a Cop (That Movies Won’t Show You)

Filed under cracked cop police list